


you can count on me

by hope27



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 02, episode ending rewrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-06
Updated: 2014-02-06
Packaged: 2018-01-11 10:38:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1172064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hope27/pseuds/hope27
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little different take on the end of 2x13.  Oliver doesn't go to the Foundry after he talks to his mother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you can count on me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So I considered not finishing this and then got the push I needed from anthfan. This is just a little different ending to last night's episode. I desperately wanted one more scene between Oliver and Felicity to talk about the secret and the Moira thing. So this is my "fix."
> 
> Tonight I will try to catch up on fic reviews! (I've kind of put myself in a hole with that putting out three fics in three days.)
> 
> Huge thanks to anthfan for looking it over for me!   
> As always, please let me know what you think! I love to hear your thoughts! And this one...it's special to me in a way. I hope I did it justice.

The soft knock startled her from her thoughts as she stared unseeingly at the television in front of her. Her fingers played with the soft fringe of the pillowcase that she’d been worrying between her purple fingernails for the past hour since she’d gotten home.

Her mind was on a constant run through of the days events.

She was glad she’d told Oliver; thankful that he hadn’t hated her, not that she truly believed he would, but she couldn’t deny that Moira’s words had gotten to her. They’d made her think, run through all the possible outcomes in her head until she couldn’t take it anymore. Her fears of losing him - of losing someone else who meant so much to her was too much to even contemplate for too long.

When the knocking came again, she jumped realizing that she’d gotten lost in her thoughts once more. It was becoming a habit for her over the past few days. Then again, she hadn’t had too many people to talk to about it and even after Oliver’s reassurances - there was a gnawing feeling deep in her stomach that wouldn’t leave.

They hadn’t gotten to talk after the ceremony. He’d been called away to do a few interviews and she’d gone back to the office to close up before heading to the Foundry. 

He’d been so lost in his own thoughts as they drove to the club that she’d known it wasn’t the right time either. Everything had snowballed after that and she was left with the relief that they’d found Sara’s mother, but also the ache of her own family feelings being churned up so recently.

She’d left before Oliver had returned and although Diggle had given her a strange look, he drove her home.

Pushing herself up off the couch, she padded to her door out of habit but frowned when she didn’t see anyone on the other side.

When the knocking came again, she realized it was coming from her bedroom, and quickened her pace knowing only one person who would use the fire escape attached to her window instead of her door.

Her eyes widened when she saw his familiar large frame hunched before her window, and while her heart pounded in her chest, a sense of relief swept through her as she walked over and lifted the latch on the window, pulling it open so he could crawl through.

When his large frame was finally inside her bedroom, she watched as he closed and re-latched the window, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth until he turned around to face her.

“Hi,” he said softly, and she nodded her head, not trusting her voice just yet.

“I should have called, but…” His voice trailed off and she frowned at the tremor that ran through it.

Squinting her eyes, she looked closer and saw the deep lines drawn across his forehead and how his frame almost vibrated with what she determined to be anger and desperation.

“No,” she quickly found her voice, “It’s fine. You’re always welcome here...since you obviously know where it is…”

She thought she saw his eyebrow quirk at that and it caused a flood of warmth to run through her that she’d been able to draw some reaction from him, pulling him from his obviously troubling thoughts.

She didn’t say another word, just turned and walked back into her main room, taking up her place on the end of the couch.

Curling her feet beneath her, she watched as he took in the space around him, his eyes falling to the untouched glass of wine she’d poured when she’d gotten home and plate of leftovers she’d heated, but had been too worried to drink or eat.

Oliver shrugged out of his leather jacket and tossed it on the arm chair behind him, and she something shifted in her knowing he was planning on staying for awhile. Her eyes flicked to the other side of the couch in an unspoken invitation and she smiled as he lowered his large frame onto the piece of furniture, her green toenails almost brushing his thigh.

Her fingers picked up where they had let off on the throw pillow, tracing and retracing the patterns in the fabric and the fringe until she heard him speak.

“I talked to my mother,” he said so softly she almost couldn’t hear him.

Her eyes flew from the pillow to his face and saw he was staring at the tv screen like she had been earlier - not really seeing anything on it.

“She wanted to make excuses and I wouldn't hear them. I told her I’d keep up pretenses for Thea and for the public but privately we were done…”

Her breath caught in her throat at his words and she swallowed thickly as Moira’s words came back to her.

“She was scared of losing you when I confronted her about it,” Felicity said without really thinking about what she was admitting. 

When his head swiveled to the side and the line on his forehead grew she realized she’d never told him that part.

She shut her eyes tight and ran a shaky palm across her forehead. “Right…”

“You confronted her?” he asked, his voice an octave lower than it had been and when she opened her eyes she saw the raw emotions swirling in his dark blue pools.

She nodded, swallowing before finding her voice again. “Yeah...after I figured it all out. I wanted to give her the chance to explain it to you, but…but she just turned it on me instead.”

Felicity pulled her feet farther up under her, away from the heat of his leg and tore her eyes away from his all-seeing gaze.

But he wasn’t going to let it drop there. The pillow was softly tugged from her hands, his own fingers finding hers and giving them a soft squeeze.

“What did she say?” 

His voice was so low he almost sounded like he did under the hood and she could feel the vibration of his voice as it ran the length of him. The muscles in his jaw ticked and she could see the tight rein he was trying to keep on his emotions. She didn’t want to add to the burdens he was already bearing after the revelation. He didn’t need to know about her and Moira’s conversation, and she silently berated herself for letting it slip out.

Pushing her glasses up on her nose, she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you know…”

“Felicity…”

He drew out her name, like he had on so many other occasions - saying more with those four syllables that most people could say in an entire monologue reminding her of the way he’d said it earlier that afternoon.

Calloused fingers tightened around hers and she let out a ragged breath before looking up at him. His eyes were worn and tired, but there was a spark of anger rising in them - and not at her.

She took a deep breath, knowing she couldn’t keep this from him - nor did she truly want to. After over a year working with Oliver, she saw the woman behind the front Moira Queen put up. And it was a dangerous one. She’d stated she’d gone to such great lengths to protect her family, but Felicity wondered if it wasn’t something more. Despite her claims to love her son and daughter more than anything, she had no qualms about sending her son and her husband out on a doomed boat. About lying to them for years about their father and Merlyn. She was a desperate woman and Felicity knew that her decision and loyalty to Oliver now put her out of Moira Queen’s good graces. However, despite all of that - she didn’t regret telling him. Oliver deserved to know and if his own mother wasn’t going to tell him, then she would. She wouldn’t keep a secret like that from him. There were too many secrets in his life. Her loyalty was to Oliver, and it always would be.

“She said...she said that you would hate her if I told you,” and she looked up in time to see him nod his head and then frown knowing this wasn’t the reason she was on edge. Her throat felt like it was closing up but she pushed the last words out, “But also that you would hate _me_...for telling you and ripping your world apart.”

Her voice broke slightly, and she pressed her lips together, trying to keep the tears that threatened to fall at bay. The idea of him hating her - directing that betrayed look at her for any reason caused her stomach to churn and a coldness to take hold of her heart.

She watched him as he inhaled sharply through his nose, his eyes falling shut briefly as his jaw tightening. And then he was reaching for her with his free hand, cupping her elbow and pulling her closer to him on the couch. 

“She tried to manipulate you,” he practically seethed, and she was amazed that his touch could be so light while he was practically vibrating with barely suppressed rage at his mother. 

Felicity could only bob her head once, knowing it was the truth. Moira Queen had hit the right buttons, but in the end, there was no doubt in her mind. She’d worked through everything and still come to the conclusion that she had to tell him. And all of this suddenly came pouring out of her…

“I know I should have told you sooner, but the idea that you...that I could lose you...that she would be right, I couldn’t bear that and there was so much going on - you didn’t need one more thing added to your plate. But I knew I had to tell you even if it meant losing your trust - losing _you_ …”

The tears that had been threatening to fall slid down her cheeks and she sucked in a halting breath, trying to get her emotions back under control. She hated that after all these years her past still had such a hold on her.

The feeling of Oliver’s hand on her cheek startled her, and she looked up to find his gaze had softened and he was now regarding her with so much unguarded emotion, she had a hard time processing it all.

“Hey, I meant what I said earlier,” he stated, his voice soft yet firm as he stroked his thumb over her cheek. “You’re _not_ going to lose me.”

“You don’t know that,” she replied brokenly, “You can’t make promises like that...I _can’t_ …”

She shook her head, beginning to move back away from his touch. He was causing her walls to crumble completely and this was not the time for her to lay all of her own burdens on the table.

Oliver wouldn’t let her back away though, he shifted closer and cupped her jaw, his other hand staying wrapped around her fingers. 

“Felicity,” he whispered, his voice soft but thick. “Listen to me. You’re not going to lose me. My mother had no right to say those things and you know they aren’t true. I know you do…”

Her head fell forward as she nodded, knowing he was right. Deep in her heart, she knew he wouldn't hate her, but it had dredged up all of her insecurities from her childhood and left her staggering on the edge of the feeling of losing the only family she’d known in years. 

She couldn’t lose them. Digg and Oliver. They meant more to her than she could ever express.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, her voice hoarse, and he was close enough that she felt him shake his head, his nose brushing against her forehead.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” he replied just as softly and with just as much emotion. 

His thumb slipped over her cheek catching another tear while he released her hand and brought that arm up and around her shoulders, tugging gently until she fell against him.

She let his strong arm band around her and allowed herself to take comfort in his solid presence. Her head fit perfectly beneath his chin and his hand trailed from her jaw down to her shoulder, rubbing soft circles against the worn cotton of the t-shirt she wore to bed.

Seconds turned into minutes as neither of them talked, but Oliver’s hand never stopped moving over her shoulder and her fingers traced fine patterns into the the fabric of his shirt.

“Thank you,” he finally whispered breaking the silence. 

And she shook her head, tilting it up so she could see him. “For telling me.”

“Of course,” she replied, “I’m on your side, Oliver. You’re not going to lose me either. For as long as you want me, I’m here.”

The breath he released coasted over her cheek and she started to close her eyes until the firm hand on her shoulder made her look up again. His eyes flashed with something desperate and true. “Hey, you know you’re important to me. You know...I couldn’t do this without you. And by this, I mean, this life - any of it…”

His words caused her heart to tighten with such longing that she could barely breathe. A flood of warmth filled her and she smiled softly, a silent thank you for his reassurances. 

After a few seconds where words were passed without speaking, he leaned further into the couch and pulled her with him. It was almost too natural to settle back against him, his arm never leaving her shoulder.

“What are we watching?” he finally asked, his chest rumbling beneath her ear.

She blinked, looking at the screen and not recognizing the people or the show.

“I have no idea,” she replied honestly. “I wasn’t really watching before you showed up. Which by the way, I do have a front door.”

He sighed, and she felt his head fall back before he answered. “I didn’t know if you’d be asleep. I didn’t want to wake you...I just...I found myself here…”

Felicity found herself smiling despite the fluttering in her stomach. “I told you, you’re always welcome here, Oliver,” she replied, pushing herself up off of him enough that she could catch his gaze.

Blue met blue and the relief and appreciation she found warmed her from the tips of her toes to the long strands of her blonde hair.

“Thank you,” he rasped gently, the hand on her shoulder moving to cup the back of her hair as he leaned forward, his lips pressing lightly against her temple.

Her heart stuttered in her chest and she found herself holding her breath until he pulled back and his hand found it’s place on her shoulder once more. 

She gave him a soft smile and nod and then gently laid her head back on his shoulder. This amount of touching from Oliver was new to her, but then again, their bond was getting stronger every day and it didn’t seem weird at all have sleep pulling at her as she leaned against him. It felt right. Almost too right.

Another stab of fear coursed through her as she thought about what losing him would do to her. Facing those abrupt feelings from her past had thrown her through a loop - dredging up memories of the abandonment and loss she’d felt throughout her childhood. 

She’d never gotten close to many people after that - hiding behind computer screens and technology - things that could never walk away from her. 

Until Oliver. Until the team. 

She’d been so careful growing up not to let people get too close, putting up fronts and walls that seemed to keep people at a distance. If they never got close enough, they couldn’t hurt you.

But Oliver had torn all of those down with ease, it seemed. And it was only after she brought him back from the island that their relationship had truly begun to shift into something deeper. That she realized how much she’d come to rely on him - to want him in her life. It scared her because of things like she’d faced today. And everytime he went out at night with the very real possibility of not coming back like with Cyrus Gold. She’d tried to re-erect her crumbled walls after Russia, after Barry, but they didn’t hold. She was too invested, and her heart told her he was too. Everytime he told her he needed her; he relied on her. Every time he looked at her with that smile as if she’d just brought out the sun or when he gaze upon her with pride - they dismantled those walls in seconds. 

You’re not going to lose me. 

She held on to those words tighter than she probably should, but she didn’t care. 

She needed to believe them. And right now, with her head resting on Oliver’s shoulder, his feet propped up on her coffee table as they watched a show neither had any clue about, she could believe it because this felt right and true and she realized he was slowly filling up a whole in her heart she didn’t realize she had - and as much as her instincts told her not to trust it to last. She couldn't’ help but lean on her heart for this one. 

It told her to trust it; trust him.

And she did.


End file.
